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Text: Psalm 13 & 22

Last year I read Stephen Ambrose's book Undaunted Courage: Meriwether Lewis, Thomas Jefferson and the Opening of the American West. I was fascinated by everything in the book, but especially with the character of Meriwether Lewis. As a very young man he became a protégé to Thomas Jefferson. When the opportunity arose for the first exploration to America's West coast, Thomas Jefferson immediately knew that Meriwether Lewis was his man.

The account of the journey is an incredible story of determination and skill, but woven throughout that story was a puzzling factor in the character of Meriwether Lewis. He was a meticulous person, and wrote in his journal every day noting exactly where they were, how far they had traveled, interactions with the Indians, and such. But there were a few critical times in the journey when Lewis did not keep his journal entries. Historians wished that he had recorded his journal during those times, and wondered why this meticulous man failed to write on these critical days. Stephen Ambrose concludes that Lewis was dealing with depression at the time. Here was a man who was unquestionably one of the greatest men of his time, and yet he suffered from depression.

The most surprising aspect of the story came at the end of Lewis' life. After he returned to wide public acclaim, he determined to publish his journals which would have been of historic, scientific and popular interest. He was assured that this publication would make him very rich, but he never got around to finishing the process.

He was appointed governor of the vast Louisiana Purchase area, which distracted him from the publishing work. Then on a journey back East to report to Jefferson and presumably to work on the final stages of publication, he stopped at a cabin somewhere in Tennessee to spend the night. During the night, he apparently committed suicide by shooting himself.

When the news broke of his death, the two men closest to him, William Clark and Thomas Jefferson, immediately concluded that the story of Lewis's suicide was entirely believable. Neither Jefferson nor Clark ever doubted that Lewis killed himself. (1)

Here was one of the greatest men of his generation, who apparently struggled with depression all his life, and in the end, committed suicide. b His story, and his struggles with depression, is the story of thousands and millions of people in his day and ours.

Depression is an illness that is seldom addressed in churches today. Most churches do not want to deal with depression because they are too busy painting a picture of the "victorious Christian life."

While traveling yesterday, we listened to one of Garrison Keillor's Lake Woebegone monologues in which he referred to a Pentecostal church called the "Joy, Joy, Joy Church." That name represents how most people want their church to be. Sometimes churches are the last place where we can confront the reality of depression. But things are not always joyful and victorious in the Christian life.

Our recent readings in Job and the Psalms made me thing about this again. When you read the book of Job, you realize that life is not all "joy, joy, joy." And as we read the Psalms, we realize that these writers know what life is really all about. They don't just talk about times when they are happy. They also talk about times when they are depressed and they weave that into their expressions of faith.

List to Psalm 13:

1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I bear pain in my soul,

and have sorrow in my heart all day long?

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

3 Consider and answer me, O LORD my God!

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

Here is a Psalmist who knew suicidal thoughts because of his depression. If he does not get an answer from God, he will "sleep the sleep of death." Have you ever felt that way? I suspect that many, many of us deal with depression, but it is an illness that we usually deal with silently.

Jeffery Smith wrote a book entitled, Where the Roots Reach for Water (New York: North Point Press, 1999), which was an account of his journey with depression. I love that image of roots reaching for water. There are times in life when we feel that our roots just don't reach the water. We are left high and dry. Things are not working right. We are struggling with illness or depression and we can't get rid of it. We are reaching for water, but it is a dry time for the soul.

Jeffrey Smith tried everything to overcome his depression. He was one of the roughly 20 percent of people suffering from depression who get no help from medicines like Prozac and Zoloft. He considered electroconvulsive therapy, but decided against it.

Driven to find an alternative treatment and approach to depression, he encountered a wide spectrum of possibilities from astrological theories to the black bile treatment of the ancient Romans to William James' "sick soul" to the Buddhist belief that "pain is inseparable from life."

In an attempt to cure himself without drugs, Smith tried "talk therapy," homeopathy and Christianity, all the while studying genetics, natural history and mysticism. Nothing seemed to help his deep depression.

His description of his depression is depressing: "At the office, every phone call, every home visit, every bit of documentation felt like drudgery. I was a month behind on my paperwork. At home, I'd toss my mail, the bills along with the letters, into a corner, unopened. I hadn't balanced my checkbook in a month. A pile of overdue library books sat on my kitchen table" (10). That's the story of depression that many people deal with!

The thing that brings me some comfort is that the Bible recognizes that kind of feeling. Even if you have not struggled with a certifiable depression, we all have the blues on occasion.

The Psalms know depression. In the Psalms, we find a recognition that life is not all joy, joy, joy. Listen to Psalm 22:

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?

2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;

and by night, but find no rest.

6 But I am a worm, and not human;

scorned by others, and despised by the people.

7 All who see me mock at me;

they make mouths at me, they shake their heads;

And in the following verses, the Psalmist seems so speak of physical ailments. We often assume in church that all those who are sick will be healed or get well. But there are diseases that people deal with and never get relief. And the truth for all of us is that one day we will get sick and die. Those are the kinds of feelings the Bible recognize. Listen as the Psalm continues:

14 I am poured out like water,

and all my bones are out of joint;

my heart is like wax;

it is melted within my breast;

15 my mouth is dried up like a potsherd,

and my tongue sticks to my jaws;

you lay me in the dust of death.

16 For dogs are all around me;

a company of evildoers encircles me.

My hands and feet have shriveled;

17 I can count all my bones.

They stare and gloat over me;

Many of us will have to deal with illnesses that won't go away, with depression that won't get better, with circumstances in our life that we desperately want to be different, but that is just not in the cards. It is not going to happen. The Bible at least recognizes people who share these feelings.

The same question faces many of us. How can we fashion a life to accommodate soul-crushing gloom? Can we deal with the depression that comes when God seems strangely silent? Can we handle the spiritual dryness we feel when our roots aren't quite reaching water?

The Bible can give us help and hope in times like that. Jeremiah wrote a whole book in the Bible called "Lamentations." Remember the melancholy of King Saul, whose depression could only be cheered by the music of David.

When we read through Christian history, we find others who have experienced this kind of depression. One of the great saints was the mystic John of the Cross who wrote a book entitled The Dark Night of the Soul. Depression plagued Martin Luther, John Calvin, and John Wesley.

In John Bunyon's famous work Pilgrim's Progress, he describes the pilgrimage to the Celestial City. One of the places the hero has to cross is the Slough of Despond. John Bunyon knew that despond and depression lie in all our paths.

For Jeffrey Smith, the depression just would not go away, and he was forced to ask how he could find a meaningful life with a problem that is with him for life. He described his experience as the roots not reaching the water, but finally he found the water through his faith. He found walking to be a powerful spiritual exercise. He would read the Bible for an hour and go for long walks to try to get his head straightened out right. Depression made him think only of his inadequacies, foolishness and failures. His mind went over and over such negative thinking.

Finally, he began to see the glories of the creation all around him – the birds and the animals. He finally put himself in perspective of all that God was doing in this world. Somehow he managed to feel his roots tapping the water, and his strength began to come to him again.

His was the kind of experience I see in the book of Job. Remember that Job struggled so with his illnesses and the tragedies that came his way. When we read Job, we find the overwhelming message is that God cared about Job! In the end, God spoke to Job and said his friends were wrong. It is clear that God cared about how Job would respond. God wanted to see if Job would respond with faith. It mattered to God how Job responded!

That is the message that gives us hope as well. It matters to God how we will respond to the trials and difficulties of life.

While reading the Psalms this week, there was a verse in chapter 18 that jumped out at me. Verse 19 says, "He brought me out into a broad place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me." When I heard that I thought, "God delights in me!" God cares about us and how we respond. God may not always deliver us from the difficult circumstances of life, but it matters to God if we respond with faith.

Note the observation Jesus made "Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (Matthew 6:26). We matter to God!

Remember that the apostle Paul suffered from a thorn in the flesh, from which he was never healed. Three times he battered down the doors of heaven trying to get God to heal him and change his circumstances. God did not change his circumstances. Finally, Paul heard a message from Christ who told him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."

As I read Job and the Psalms, I thought that there was something here that we all need to acknowledge. We don't belong t the Joy, Joy, Joy Church. Sometimes we are on the mountaintop, but sometimes we are in the valley.

When our roots really go down and tap the water of life, we will find the strength that the Psalmist found. We will conclude with Psalm 18 saying,

2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer,

my God, my rock in whom I take refuge,

my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

When you are in those times of life when things just don't seem to go right, let your roots go deep into the Psalms and find there the water of life.

Endnotes:

1) Stephen E. Ambrose, Undaunted Courage: Meriwether Lewis, Thomas Jefferson and the Opening of the American West (New York: Touchstone, 1996), 63, 477.